


The Devil and the Deep Blue Sea

by HartwinMakethMan



Category: Kingsman: The Secret Service (2015)
Genre: AU from canon, All sorts of things!, Charlie is Kay verse, Charlie is still kind of a dick, Charlie speaks french, Eggsy and Charlie Hurt/Comfort!, Eggsy and Charlie fluff!, I love that beautiful jerkface, Let's see where the Hell this goes, M/M, Porn with Feelings, but not nearly as much as he was
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-08-11
Updated: 2015-09-25
Packaged: 2018-04-14 05:14:56
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 12,678
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4552008
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HartwinMakethMan/pseuds/HartwinMakethMan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After V Day, Eggsy gets a visitor in the infirmary who has a lot to explain, and even more to answer to, starting a whole new chapter of his life that he never thought possible.  </p><p>(An AU-- told through loosely linked oneshots-- to explain and explore the character of Charlie Hesketh-- and he and Eggsy's RIDICULOUS SEXUAL TENSION)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

The infirmary was dark and silent, except for the rhythmic beeping of Eggsy’s heart monitor and the creaking of the mattress as he shifted on the cot for the billionth time. He couldn’t get comfortable. He sure as Hell couldn’t sleep. Eggsy just turned and shifted and twisted in the sheets for hours, listening to his own fucking heart and trying to ignore the empty pit in his gut. 

Harry Hart was dead. Most definitely, without a bloody doubt. They’d brought in his body from Kentucky barely an hour after V Day was (mostly) successfully averted, and Eggsy had watched with an unexplainable numbness as they rolled the body bag out of the Kingsman air hangar, the remaining Knights stopping and watching as their fallen comrade passed them in the corridors of HQ. The newest knight repressed the urge to run after them, beg to just have them check for a pulse one more bloody time, because he couldn’t be dead. 

Harry Hart didn’t just fuckin’ die– he had been Eggsy’s last shot. He was his mentor, his father figure, his friend, and Eggsy had let him die being disappointed in him. 

Merlin had been the one to walk him– practically carry him– to the infirmary, mumbling soothing nonsense in his ear with that deep accent. Maybe Eggsy cried. He definitely said that he had to get home and check on his family, looking for some reason to still be here, and not follow Harry down the hall.

Lying there, restless and exhausted, but only able to sleep sporadically, Eggsy blinked blearily into the darkness. He didn’t want to think about Harry, he didn’t want to think about his mum, and he definitely didn’t want to think about the smirking blue eyes that he’d grown to feel his heart flutter around, even when the posh git attached to them ratted him out to Valentine. That hurt almost as much as Harry– thinking about Charlie and the burn of sexual tension and the fact that he had to be dead if he was one of Valentine’s chosen. 

Eggsy pointedly ignored how much the betrayal hurt, and why it surprised him so much. It had been one bloody kiss– one time during training that a squabble over navigating in the woods had turned into the deep musk of Charlie’s cologne and his teeth nipping at Eggsy’s bottom lip. His hair had been soft between his fingers and Eggsy reminded himself that he fuckin’ hated Charlie Hesketh, no matter what the painful clench in his chest said.

The weight of all the loss in the past day was suffocating and crushed down on his body like he carried the world. Heat blurred his vision and tears rolled down his cheeks, unable to be held down by the emptiness any longer. Eggsy sobbed. He trembled, and kicked at the confining blankets twisted around his legs, suddenly feeling the need to just fuckin’ run, he just needed to get out out this bloody painful situation. He didn’t even hear the door creak open. 

It felt as though he’d cried forever, and when there were no more tears, Eggsy’s breathing was erratic and fast, curled up on himself with shuddering dry heaves. 

“Eggsy." 

The voice in the darkness, clashing with the heart monitor, made the young Knight nearly jump out of his shaky skin, whipping around gracelessly to face the intruder. And he could have sworn the fuckin’ heart monitor stopped for the first full minute that he looked at Charlie’s luminous eyes sitting in the visitor’s chair. The bloody git had the gall to fuckin’ smile at him, too. Eggsy swallowed harshly around the desire to hurl his achy body at the taller boy and kiss those fuckin’ beautiful lips until he promised to never hurt him like that ever again. Instead, he opted for the cold pit of resentment and betrayal that pumped through his veins like heroin. 

"Aren’t you supposed to be dead or somethin’?” he internally commended himself on keeping the unruly rasp of his voice in check. It still had less venom than he wished he could put in it, wishing he could make Charlie’s somber composure slip a bit. 

He smiled ruefully in the dark “I suppose so. I’m actually here because I haven’t been fully honest with you or Lancelot.” for a moment, he paused, looking for all the world like he wanted to come closer to the boy in the bed, but restrained himself. Eggsy was glad– God knows he wouldn’t have known what to do with himself then. 

“Well– go on then. Give me a reason not to fuckin’ kill you right now.” he growled. Charlie gave him a disbelieving scoff and a look. 

“Even I know better than to underestimate you, Eggsy, but really? We both know you won’t hurt me.” he sounded like the same old Charlie, but there was something off about the way he looked at him– was that concern? “Here we go: my lying stops here. My name is codename Agent Kay. I was recruited to Kingsman two years ago, when the old Kay retired to the French Riviera. I’m, of course, the youngest of the agents– at least, I was, until you and Lancelot joined up– so, I was the natural pick to monitor the cadets, make sure no one cheated.”

Eggsy let the information sink in, not knowing whether he should even believe the man across from him. He fuckin’ wanted to, that was bloody clear, the disarming blue gaze reminding him of those strong hands cupping his cheeks and snaking his tongue into his mouth. But, Eggsy still narrowed his eyes, shooting Charlie a suspicious glance. 

“Then why’d you blow my cover?”

“I…” Charlie sighed then, and suddenly looked a bit older in the half light, wiping a hand down his face “I was trying to protect you. Trust me, Merlin ripped me a new one over that. I didn’t know what you were there for, and I knew Merlin could get you out safely if I told. It also helped keep my cover… I thought we were there for the same thing, so you weren’t necessary, but there was a miscommunication after I lost my glasses. You were there for the true V Day problem– I had been sent weeks earlier to infiltrate Valentine’s plans.” Eggsy could say a million things, but held his tongue, waiting for Charlie to continue, as some things started to line up in his mind. “But, we didn’t know about the bloody Plan A. We only knew that he’d planted gas canisters in every major city, operating off a remote to exterminate the densely populated areas. Little did we know, this was the back up for the V Day plot you foiled oh-so elegantly.” he sprawled in the chair, very ungentlemanly, and gave a final smile. 

“And here we are?” Eggsy questioned blandly, eyebrow raised, despite the flutter of hope in his empty chest cavity. 

“And here we are, indeed.” He came to sit on the edge of the mattress, and Eggsy shifted away, ignoring how much his body wanted to fold against the taller man’s chest because at least he wasn’t fuckin’ dead, and relief was shockingly strong in Eggsy’s veins. Charlie didn’t try to stop his backing away, but all remnants of his usual smirking self was gone. He looked sad and tired, but most of all, he looked concerned. Eggsy wasn’t sure how to feel.

Charlie hesitated, carefully gauging the other boy’s reaction as he reached out and took Eggsy’s bruised hand in his. Part of him wanted nothing more than to jump up and smack the living shit out of the other boy, but the warmth of human contact was too comforting– a balm to every ache, mental and physical alike. He tried and failed to repress the way his muscles went lax under the single touch. 

If Charlie noticed, he didn’t mention it, but the tension between them filled the room like moving through warm honey. It was the training incident all over again, and Eggsy heard the heart monitor speed up a touch. Charlie smiled slightly, shaking his head and looking Eggsy in the eyes. With slow, measured movement, he leaned down and pressed a soft, feather-light, completely out of character kiss to Eggsy’s forehead. The heart monitor beeped rapidly, but neither of them noticed as they breathed in each other’s air, Charlie pulling away just enough to look at him and whispering. 

“I’m so sorry about Harry, Eggsy. I worked with him for longer, but anyone could see how much he meant to you.” 

The grief broke over him like a wave, and Eggsy would blame it on severe trauma later, when he broke down in fresh sobs. Charlie shushed him, readjusting to lie beside him and let Eggsy curl up against him. The younger man felt a hand card through his hair, and another wrap around his back, holding him against Charlie’s chest. The heart monitor was going crazy, and Charlie leaned over and shut the damn thing off. Merlin would be pissed in the morning, but it was worth it for now. 

He calmed down faster this time, coming down to whimpers and sniffs, completely exhausted while the strong arms around him kept the world at bay, shushing him quietly. 

“D-Did you bloody hit your head b-back at Valentine’s?” he stuttered, snuggling closer into the other man’s suit jacket as he said it. 

“No. Why?” Charlie huffed out a laugh at the question, his voice a resonating vibration against Eggsy’s ear. 

“Cus’ you… You’re too f-fuckin’ nice, Charlie.” he managed a watery chuckle of his own, and Charlie looked down at him with a raised eyebrow and pursed lips. 

“Well, do you want me to be mean? I can be fuckin’ nasty, if you want.” 

“No. No, I like it when… I like this side a’ you.” he mumbled tiredly, hoping it didn’t sound too much like a confession of feelings. Even though maybe it was. 

He looked up and saw Charlie smiling. Not a half-assed smirk, not a pretentious little quirk of lips, and no lustful grins. It was just a smile– a real smile, that meant Charlie was happy and comfortable and content, which, even as closed of as the other man was, Eggsy knew happened rarely–  and he felt warmer and slightly less empty just looking at it. 

“Well, I’m glad you do, Eggsy.” he whispered back, like he didn’t want to shatter the hush of the moment. “Would you finally manage to sleep if I stayed?” the heavy tug of Eggsy’s eyelids seemed to answer for him, and he nodded feebly against Charlie’s chest.

He didn’t say another word, just carding his fingers through Eggsy’s hair as he finally dropped off, pressing another kiss to his head and holding the other man’s aching body flush against his own. They both fell asleep without a heart monitor or blankets, listening only to each other’s breathing and sharing their body heat. They could address their unspoken, potential feelings for each other when the world stopped spinning so hectically.


	2. Chapter 2

Eggsy jogged his way through the concrete maze of hallways at HQ, his suit just slightly rumpled and eyes still blinking away sleep. Harry’s death haunted his dreams– he hadn’t gotten a good night’s sleep since the night of V Day, with his head pillowed on  _someone’s_  chest and arms wrapped around him, practically holding him together.  
  
It didn’t matter, though, when he’d woken up alone the next morning and every bloody morning after. The bitter taste that thinking about that posh git always brought up rose in his gut, and Eggsy cleared his throat as he surfaced from the paths of corridors into the clean, slightly jet fuel-scented atmosphere of the Kingsman air hangar.  
  
“You’re late, Galahad.” Merlin remarked with no real inflection, noting something on his tablet as Eggsy approached.  
  
“Yeah, got caught up at the shop– Roxy needed some help, I thought I had more time.” It was a bare faced lie– Roxy  _never_  needed help– and the look Merlin shot him over the rims of his glasses told him the quartermaster knew it, but the older man just nodded. Harry’s death had hurt them all, Eggsy and Merlin especially. The Scotsman had been so bloody fantastic to him in the past few weeks, Eggsy didn’t think he could ever repay him.  
  
The weeks since V Day had been a blur of missions, rebuilding the global political infrastructure, and always _always_  expecting Harry to be waiting for him when he returned.  
  
It hurt. But, life went on. Eggsy didn’t get Harry’s codename for nothing, and he wasn’t going to let him down.  
  
“Well, hop on.” Merlin nodded toward the jet behind him “You and Kay are due in Brussels in less than five hours–”  
  
“Wait,  _Kay_?” Eggsy cut in. Merlin raised his eyebrows with false innocence, as if he wasn’t completely aware of Eggsy and Charlie’s unspoken, and  _fucking fucked up_  not-quite relationship. The quartermaster had no time to reply, however, as Agent Kay came bounding down the steps to their plane, seeing Eggsy and looking pinched– like he’d swallowed a lemon– and as uncomfortable as Eggsy felt, fiddling with the cuff links of his truly spectacular suit.  
  
He jaw nearly dropped. He would have let it, too, if Charlie wasn’t a total, absolute prick, because he looked fucking  _beautiful_. His hair was neatly combed and parted, carefully taming his brown curls, and his blue eyes gleamed with that slightly dangerous charm Charlie had– he  _knew_  just how good he looked. If Eggsy wasn’t sleep deprived and had been able to brace himself for this onslaught of tailored blue fabric and smirking pink lips, he would’ve been royally pissed off by the posh, uppity confidence.  
  
But instead, he just had to focus a little harder on normal breathing patterns.  
  
“Goin’ somewhere, Agent?” He managed to rein in his voice, injecting it with all the dry disinterest he could fake. Charlie scoffed and rolled his eyes, fixing Eggsy with half a smile as he came to stand by the other two men.  
  
“I thought I might, since I– unlike  _some_ – have managed to locate the proper attire for the occasion. Did you even read the file?” He said coolly, looking Eggsy’s rumpled suit up and down with an unreadable expression.  
  
“Several times over, actually.” He ground out, puffing out his chest just slightly. Charlie just had that effect on him– in fact, what really miffed him about the other agent was that he had any effect on him at all.  
  
“Well then, you’re well aware that we’re on our way to a charity gala in Brussels for ILGA Europe.” His eyes scanned over Eggsy again, a bit more lingering that time and Eggsy fought the blush creeping up his neck. “Andrew pressed you a new suit for the occasion, you might want to change en route– we’re already late.”  
  
The plane ride was dripping with tension. Eggsy felt like a guitar string about to be snipped, and Charlie’s presence on the other side of the jet– rereading the file, like Eggsy should be doing– only served to heighten the irritation. It was like petting a cat backwards, and he could feel Charlie’s eyes darting up to look at him periodically over his tablet, and Eggsy didn’t have to meet his eyes to know how the other agent was looking at him.  
  
It happened whenever Charlie thought he couldn’t see, or he seemed properly distracted, but Eggsy knew. He could never forget– it was the same look, with soft, sad blue eyes– all wide and warm with the strangest, most confusing emotion in them– and his bottom lip worried between his teeth like he was restraining himself from something. It was the same look thrown across the dormitory in the weeks of training after that night in the woods. It was also too goddamn similar to the concerned little half smile that had melted Eggsy to tears on the emotionally shattered night after V Day.  
  
It was  _Charlie_ – raw and kind and just how he should be. There was no snark, or posh charm, or any of the other stupid fucking walls he hid behind when anyone got too close. A burst of rage flared in Eggsy’s chest, and he felt hot under the collar of his still wrinkled suit.  
  
Suddenly desperate to escape the stupid gaze across the jet, Eggsy stood abruptly and shut himself in the washroom to change for the mission. He contemplated grumbling something to Charlie about where he was going, but the frustration won out, and instead, he might have slammed the door a little too hard to be normal.  
  
The black, double breasted suit hung in the corner of the room, clean and pressed. Eggsy couldn’t help but grin a little at how good he looked when he put it on and glanced in the mirror, sliding the glasses up on his nose and combing his hair back. They would have to land soon, and Eggsy had to focus. No one could set him off his game like the bloody wanker outside the door, and he had to keep a level head.  
  
Or even better, set off Charlie instead.  
  
He smirked, brushed away some imaginary lint on his shoulders, and stood impossibly straighter. He ignored how much it looked like his dead mentor in the mirror, choosing to think about how best to fuck with Charlie as some sort of distraction.  
  
A sharp rapping at the door broke into his scheming. “Any day now,  _Eggy_ – we’re landing in 20.” Charlie’s smooth baritone bit into the wood, and a flare of irritation crawled up Eggsy’s spine.  
  
“Fuck right off, Kay…” Eggsy called through the wood, stealing one more glance in the mirror before turning and swinging the door open.  
  
He wasn’t expecting Charlie to be right on the other side, and he would’ve run the other man over if he hadn’t paused in the threshold. Dangerously close– barely a hair’s breadth apart– to Charlie’s stupidly handsome face. Their noses were practically brushing, and Eggsy bit his cheek against the blush rising in his face. But it was worth it to check the other agent off guard.  
  
The look on Charlie’s face and the tiny gasp of breath he sucked in were enough to bolster Eggsy’s pride until he felt like he was glowing. Blue eyes were wide with shock, and some other emotion that he usually only saw over the edges of files and in the middle of the darkness of the infirmary. Charlie seemed to trace his whole body with his gaze. When their eyes finally met, both of them were breathing a little shakily, and Charlie looked so taken aback, staring Eggsy down, his pupils dilating in their crystal irises. He licked his full, pink lips, and Eggsy couldn’t decide if the blood pounding in ears was rushing to his swelling heart, or further south.  
  
 _Fuck_.  
  
For a moment, he could’ve sworn Charlie would close the distance between them again, claim his lips, and goddamnit, Eggsy was ready.  
  
“Alright– strap in Lads, we’ll be landing soon.” The moment was broken like shattered glass. Charlie looked as shaken and disappointed as Eggsy felt, the fading heat of the past few seconds sliding away to make room for more of the ever-present irritation that always seemed to permeate the air between Galahad and Kay.  
  
He took a deep breath, and prepared for landing.  
  
The party was as stuffy as all gatherings of rich people were– even for the ILGA. Eggsy and Charlie entered side by side and headed into the ballroom with their oxfords clicking on the marble floor, discreetly surveying the exits and the security positions.  
  
“Good evening, Gentlemen.” A severe-looking woman approached them, a serene smile in place, and her gown swishing around her legs. Eggsy recognized her as the target from the file. “I am Millicent Kurtz. Welcome to my humble little party.” She extended a hand to shake, her heavily accented English adding to her posh charm. Eggsy and Charlie both exchanged the required pleasantries.  
  
“The pleasure is ours, Madame. I’m David Spencer, son of Lord and Lady Spencer, and this is–”  
  
“Andrew Fairchild,” Eggsy cut in with a charming smile– what came next? He was no one’s “son”, what was he supposed to say? “I’m his boyfriend.” Charlie immediately tensed beside him, barely maintaining his cover, but adjusting quickly as Eggsy slid his hand into the other agent’s, pushing his luck and pecking the other mans cheek like it was nothing. Charlie squeezed his hand like he was trying to shatter all his knuckles. Later, he would say he just panicked, but he knew it was a genius idea at the start– if only to fuck with Charlie.  
  
“Oh my!” Ms. Kurtz’s grin went wider, and Eggsy drove the point home, wrapping his free hand around Charlie’s bicep and latching himself onto his side. Charlie’s smile was tight and angry. He could even hear that Merlin had stopped typing on the other end of their earpieces. “Well, you are in the right place– no one will give you trouble.”  
  
“We appreciate it–” Charlie fought to keep his voice smooth and level “we’re usually not  _nearly_  this affectionate.” Eggsy could barely contain the gleeful laughter bubbling in his chest.  
  
“Enjoy your time, Gentlemen.” She nodded to them before moving on to the next guests to be greeted.  
  
There was a long second where everything seemed to stand still, before Eggsy knew all Hell would break loose. And then it did.  
  
Charlie took a deep breath– pouring his energy into not shooting Eggsy right there, he was sure– and forcefully guided the other agent to the nearest pillar at the edge of the ballroom.  
  
“What the fuck, Galahad?!” He hissed, shoving Eggsy up against the pillar with wide, fiery eyes. Eggsy couldn’t hold it in at that point, breaking into laughter. “You’re a bloody  _shit_ , I can’t believe you just did that–”  
  
“Galahad, did you have a  _valid_  reason for that?” Merlin scolded in his earpiece.  
  
“Yeah– but not only was it fuckin’ hilarious, it also fits this perfectly.” He said placatingly, because Charlie still looked like he might murder him. “I don’t ooze posh, old money smarminess like you do, _David_. I can’t drop my parent’s names to impress Kurtz! It makes way more sense for me to be here with you–  _because_  of you. And this way, we have an excuse built in if security gets weird ‘bout my accent.” He rolled his eyes exaggeratedly when Charlie’s expression didn’t even flicker.  
  
“He makes a good point, Kay.” Merlin finally spoke up. Eggsy smirked.  
  
“Good. Then– if it’s alright by you,  _David_ – I’d like to do my bloody job.” He held out his hand like he was waiting for a dance “Shall we?” Charlie looked pinched again, his lips pursed and blue eyes like chips of ice. But, he took Eggsy’s hand and tugged him back into the party.  
  
It was like a switch flipped. Suddenly, Charlie was  _Charlie_ – forehead kissing, hair stroking, strong armed Charlie. Eggsy quickly found himself regretting his prank. He compartmentalized the desperate need to just press his face into the crook of the other man’s neck and let himself be held, forced himself to maintain the idea that this was a bloody joke– Charlie was just a better actor than Eggsy had planned.  
  
All night, Eggsy draped himself on his “boyfriend”–  _fuck_ , but that sounded nice– and let Charlie stroke the nape of his neck with his gun callused thumb, or squeeze his shoulder a little too tightly, or whisk Eggsy around the dance floor. Oh, the  _dancing_ – he was being tortured. Charlie pressed their bodies together and never missed a step, one hand cradling the small of Eggsy’s back.  
  
They wandered the party after their dancing, both eventually losing each other in the party. Eggsy was glad to be rid of him. He smelled like cinnamon and expensive cologne and earl grey. It made Eggsy dizzy, but he steadfastly ignored it, instead focusing on keeping an eye on the target. They needed to get her within a certain distance for a certain amount of time so Merlin could retrieve the Intel off of her phone, and she was proving difficult to pin down.  
  
“You’ve got to buy me some time, Gents– do something, cause a scene.” Merlin’s tense voice crackled in their earpieces. “I can’t hack the target’s phone in this time frame.”  
  
No sooner had Eggsy heard the words than he felt the weight of a hand on the small of his back. He jerked, prepared for a fight, only to see a familiar smirk invading his personal space.  
  
“Alright there, my  _Love_?” Charlie looked happy enough, holding up his part of the ruse, but the sneer in his voice around the pet name made Eggsy shiver. Not for the first time that night, he began to think that he might regret his earlier stint as  _David’s_  boyfriend while he watched the vengeance gleam in the other agent’s eyes.  
  
Eggsy ignored the flare of heat in his cheeks when Charlie’s lips brushed his temple, and reminded himself that the affection wasn’t real. Charlie didn’t want him– in fact, Eggsy didn’t want Charlie either! No matter how many late nights he spent thinking about the fiery kiss during training, or the tender embrace after V Day, falling asleep wrapped in strong arms. He told himself he didn’t want Charlie. He was a prick, and he made it his life’s work to piss Eggsy right off. The hand on his back started stroking small circles, and he steadied his breathing, trying to focus on the mission.  
  
“Better now that you’re here,  _Darling_.” He drawled back, wishing he was a bit more drunk. It was worth it for the way Charlie’s jaw tensed for a moment in irritation, and Eggsy barely restrained his vindictive glee.  
  
He let Charlie guide him deeper into the party, making their way to the bar, pressing closer and closer to each other as they perched themselves in a relatively secluded corner of the gala. Charlie kept his hand on Eggsy, pulling him out a stool, ordering them both drinks, smiling on cue and using effortless small talk skills borne of nearly twenty four years of gentile, aristocratic dinner gatherings.  
  
Eggsy grinned as he and Charlie chatted aimlessly, discreetly scoping out the place for their mark, and trying not to think about how good it felt to just be there with each other.  
  
“I swear you’re going to regret that shit back there,  _Andrew_.” The knight muttered under his breath, whispering it in Eggsy’s ear. He smirked and rolled his eyes, meeting Charlie’s blue eyes with a challenging glare.  
  
“Do your worst,  _David_. I’m sure I can take it.” The double entendre wasn’t intended, and Eggsy fought the blush in his cheeks with a sip of his – very strong– drink. He didn’t drop Charlie’s gaze, however, and could swear that there was some flicker in the other man’s eyes as he said it. His heart fluttering, Eggsy sealed it with a cheeky wink.  
  
“As much as I hate to intrude, I need that diversion, Gentlemen.  _Now_.” Merlin ripped them both out of their staring contest. Eggsy mentally shook himself, trying to get a grip on his heart rate– he’d nearly forgotten about the mission. He took satisfaction in the fact that Charlie looked just as rattled, taking a deep swig of his drink and clearing his throat after.  
  
“On it, Merlin.” He said, just as Eggsy spotted Kurtz near the middle of the dance floor.  
  
He reached out and squeezed Charlie’s hand to get his attention, jerking his head toward the dance floor. After a second of scanning the crowds, Charlie saw her. He nodded before flipping his hand so it gripped Eggsy’s– none too gently, Eggsy would probably end up with a bruise– and began dragging him out across the party, up to where the quartet’s microphone stood. Shooting the conductor a glance and saying “May I?” with his sweetest smile– something Eggsy truly couldn’t stand– Charlie gestured to their still-clasped hands as the reason for his needing it, and Eggsy felt a cold stone of confusion and disbelief settle in his gut. What the  _Hell_ …  
  
“Excuse me! Excuse me, Ladies and Gentlemen, may I have your attention for just a moment.” Charlie’s voice amplified around the hall, and he still held Eggsy’s hand tight enough to break it. He removed the microphone from its cradle as the guests all turned to look at them. The music had stopped and now it felt far too quiet for Eggsy, hearing nothing but Charlie’s voice in the silence and his own pulse thumping in his ears. In a bit of a trance, his mind coming to only one  _bloody impossible_ conclusion for this diversion, he let the other knight lead him out to the center of the marble dance floor, Millicent Kurtz standing right in front of them. Charlie then turned to lock eyes with Eggsy, and smiled nervously, loosening his grip on his hand to something gentle and sweet. He could have ripped his hand away, he could have maybe gotten out of whatever this was, but Eggsy didn’t budge, telling himself it was all for the act– a part of his job. But when else could he get Charlie to look at him like this, and be gentle with him like this? It reminded him of the night of V Day, and how kind Charlie could actually be. The verbal warfare of the month since Harry died had been a brutal shock from the other knight, and Eggsy wanted nothing more than for Charlie to act like himself and stop being such a bloody prick all the time.  
  
Looking back at him then was an open, loving smile from Charlie. It was warm and comforting to the still-festering wound of mourning Harry, even though the voice at the back of Eggsy’s mind reminded him that this was just retribution for planting a kiss on Charlie’s cheek and claiming them to be together. And he had been right: Eggsy  _did_  regret it, because now, not only were all eyes on him and Charlie about to do something positively ridiculous, he almost  _liked it_. He wanted Charlie, and being forced to finally admit it to himself ached.  
  
If nothing else, Agent Kay was a damn good actor.  
  
He knew what was coming now, but he still couldn’t help his surprise as Charlie opened his mouth to finally speak.  
  
“Andrew Fairchild, I… Well, I don’t know where to start.” He laughed shakily “These past years by your side have been the best of my life, and I love you more than I ever thought to be possible….” He rambled on, waxing poetic about Andrew  _bloody_  Fairchild and how beautiful and perfect he was. Eggsy schooled his expression away from the building rage in his chest, as much as he wanted to glare holes in Charlie’s stupidly handsome face. His blue eyes sparkled, and Eggsy knew he was laughing at him as he exacted his revenge. Galahad had to try to look loving and happy, but at least he didn’t need to fake his shock.  
  
Charlie sank down onto one knee, smoothing his suit when he positioned himself on the marble and grinned up at Eggsy like this was all so fucking hilarious.  
  
“So, my Love, would you do me the honor,” he dug into his pocket to reveal a plain gold band– the one typically on Charlie’s middle finger. Eggsy gasped for his alias’s sake, knowing his cheeks were probably beet red with a blush and wishing he could shoot himself. “of being my husband?”  
  
That  _fucking wanker_.  
  
Eggsy couldn’t say no. He’d been draped on Charlie’s arm all night, publicly displaying any type of affection that could make Charlie squirm, and he regretted it. He regretted every goddamn second he had spent that night. Part of him still wanted to smack that stupid smile off Kay’s face, just for the satisfaction of not saying the “yes” that was lodged in his throat. But he’d done this to himself and Charlie was basking in his glory.  
  
All eyes were on him, sniffles and cooing all around him, focused on Charlie’s hopeful grin and moving speech. They needed Eggsy’s sweetest, most enthusiastic reply.  
  
“Y-Yes! Oh my god, David,  _yes_!” He swallowed his pride, pulling Charlie back to his feet as the other agent broke into a relieved sigh, and the most _beautiful_ , excited grin split his face as he slipped the ring onto Eggsy’s finger.  
  
When Roxy asked him later what possessed him to do it, he’d tell her that he wanted to pull out one last stop for the sake of making Charlie uncomfortable. But actually, Eggsy didn’t really know. Maybe it was the surprise of the ring being a perfect fit, or the magic of Charlie giving him an actual smile instead of a smirk, or maybe it was because it just fit the moment.  
  
He twined a hand into Charlie’s soft curls and pressed their lips together as sweetly, and lovingly as he could manage. He relished the way the other agent froze under him for a moment, how he sucked in a breath through his nose and his sparkling blue eyes went wide. They broke apart, and Charlie had the strangest look on his face. It was barely a second, and the applause around them was deafening. Until Charlie responded.  
  
Suddenly, he couldn’t hear any of the cheering. There was nothing else in the world but Charlie’s lips on his, and his hand cupping his cheek, the other arm wrapping around his waist and tugging them flush against each other. The press of their bodies through the fabric of their suits made warmth tingle through Eggsy’s body. It was all the passion of the their first kiss in training, and all the sweet gentleness of the night in the infirmary, and it was something all its own. The handful of curls wrapped around his fingers were soft, and he tugged at them a little in an effort to bring them impossibly closer together, drawing out a breathy groan from the other agent’s throat. Growing dizzy from the need to breathe– and maybe something else– Eggsy reluctantly loosened his grip on Charlie and they broke apart just enough to rest their foreheads together as they took deep, heaving breaths, unwilling to let go. At this point, there was no doubt that both of them were operating on more than their aliases. Charlie huffed out a sigh and grinned breathlessly at Eggsy, and it was  _so fucking beautiful_. A true, unguarded smile from Charlie was rare, and he cupped his face on both sides to capture the moment, pecking his lips one last time and feeling him squeeze his waist in reply.  
  
“Well then.” A throat cleared pointedly in their earpieces as Merlin broke into their reverie “As pleased as I am to have won the betting pool, I must say that that was still a bit unexpected.” He sounded like he was  amused, but Eggsy couldn’t be sure, and couldn’t be bothered. “Mission accomplished, Boys. Jet’s five kilometers south– meet me in  _thirty_   _minutes_  or I’ll leave without you. No funny business.”  
  
They continued to sell the ring bit, Eggsy looked down at it, fiddling with it. Charlie cupped his hand and tenderly kissed his knuckles over the gold band, and then held Eggsy against his chest and stroked his hair. The exhaustion of the past month was finally crashing over his head, and the agent could’ve fallen asleep right there, standing on the marble floor of a ballroom in Belgium.  
  
A long moment passed between them as they finally looked back up to each other, Charlie’s blue eyes looking as concerned and kind as they did over the edges of the files he hid behind. Eggsy was sure his own tiredness shone through, too.  
  
“Let’s go home, yes?” Charlie finally broke the hush between them, pressing a feather light kiss to his forehead.  
  
Eggsy only nodded, a tad sloppily, and smiled as Charlie draped an arm across his shoulders and guided him to the door, fielding all cries of congratulations and well wishes as they passed through the crowd.  
  
The car ride was where it could have gotten awkward. And it was  _very_  awkward, for a moment.  
  
It was the moment where they both learned whether it had really just been a tortuously convincing act, whether that level of passion could be feigned into a loveless kiss. Eggsy braced himself for Charlie to remove his arm and leave him cold. But the moment never came.  
  
Instead, he cleared his throat, keeping his arm there, but staring at Eggsy like he was ready to drop it at any second if the other agent seemed to want to. Eggsy didn’t have the same reservations, and after waiting for Charlie to make his tentative choice, he nestled himself closer under Charlie’s arm and rested his head against his chest. He heard the other agent’s relieved little breath, and the tension left the two of them, curled up on the backseat of their Kingsman-issued car.  
  
Eggsy could have dropped off to sleep at any time then, and he would have, had Charlie not taken a deep breath and broken the silence.  
  
“Eggsy?” He sounded vulnerable, and as tired as Eggsy. The other agent didn’t respond, only picked up his head to meet those blue eyes. Charlie just took a moment then, looking him over before putting a hand out to cup his jaw and kiss him again.  
  
Neither of them would ever be sure of how long they sat like that, just the soft sounds of their lips moving against each other’s, and their occasional gasps for air. They only parted when Eggsy turned away and yawned into his hand. Charlie couldn’t help but chuckle at how harmless and not-irritating and bloody  _cute_  the other man seemed right then. He pecked the side of Charlie’s jaw before snuggling his head back down on his chest.  
  
“When was the last time you slept properly?”  
  
Eggsy huffed a laugh, but was too tired for the actual sound. “V Day…” He said it on another yawn. And then thought about  _who_  exactly he was talking to, and instantly felt embarrassed– Charlie had never been  _all_  nice, and Eggsy didn’t want him to know that  _he_  was the only reason why Eggsy had been able to sleep that night. “I-it’s a bit pathetic, I know, b–”  
  
“No, it’s not.” He scoffed, but there was no malice behind it. Eggsy looked up at him, not totally sure Charlie wasn’t joking. But, he looked deadly serious, and so so  _sad_  when Eggsy met his gaze. “Me too.” It sounded like the two words took immeasurable effort, and Eggsy felt his heart clench.  
  
He was far deeper in this than he thought, or ever planned.  
  
He waited for Charlie to say more, because he looked like he wanted to. Eggsy almost told him to just spit it out, but, looking at the way his brow furrowed and he wouldn’t meet his gaze, he figured that would only hurt this tentative little  _thing_  that Eggsy was so unexpectedly bent on preserving. He sighed, cupping Charlie’s clean-shaven cheek and smiling at him before pressing his own kiss to the other man’s forehead. He would tell him what he wanted to say when he was ready.  
  
The car stopped at the airstrip, knocking their sleepy minds back into reality. They both– without saying a word– simultaneously moved to a respectable distance apart and walked across the asphalt with renewed tension in their bodies. But now it was different– it wasn’t for the sake of being irritated and angry, it was from the desire to be pressed against each other, close and warm. They reached the steps, and Eggsy was just about to head up when a hand gripped his and forced him to turn.  
  
Charlie looked bloody  _frightened_ – like a nervous schoolboy, unlike anything Eggsy had ever seen. His eyes were hopeful, but the tense set of his jaw showed just how inexperienced he was with this new affection he felt.  
  
“Come home with me tonight.” It wasn’t a question. Usually, Eggsy would say no on principle, just for that– especially to Charlie. But, now was different, and he was tired, the hand gripping his was warm and gentle, and he could still feel Charlie on his lips.  
  
“Well…” He sighed, pretending to contemplate “I ain’t about to marry you, bruv, but we can take it a day at a time.” Eggsy removed the ring and slipped it back onto Charlie’s middle finger. “Let’s go home.”  
  
He didn’t let go of Charlie’s hand as he led them up the steps to the jet, and to his surprise, Charlie didn’t let go when Merlin was waiting them at the top, smiling quietly and shooting him a wink before disappearing into the cockpit.  
  
Harry wasn’t waiting for him at HQ. But, there was a warm bed and a secretly  _very_   _lovely_  man who wanted to share it with him. Eggsy felt like the world was slowly coming back into line.


	3. Chapter 3

Exhaustion pulled at him, making his eyes feel weighted and swollen, but an electric undercurrent of absolute panic was enough to keep Charlie pacing back and forth in the infirmary at HQ. Roxy watched him, not moving an inch except for her eyes as she traced the other knight’s staunchly measured pattern– Five steps, pivot, five steps, pivot, five steps, pivot–

“Oh, Bloody Christ, Kay– He’s going to be fine!” Merlin finally exclaimed from where he sat, tense, also watching Charlie. “They aren’t even keeping him overnight!”

Charlie didn’t show the slightest sign of stopping, or even acknowledging that the Quartermaster had spoken, continuing to walk in his straight line, staring blankly at the floor. Harry stood silently on the other side of the room, looking so sympathetic and concerned, Roxy was glad Charlie couldn’t be bothered to look up and see, because it could bloody well snap his fragile composure. 

However, it was sad. 

Charlie had been a right prick, that was for sure. And when he’d come to her and cleared the air– explained that he was Kay and all that– Roxy hadn’t quite believed him. It got even worse when the sexual tension between him and Eggsy came to a head. Granted, the stifling attraction that would fill any room with the two of them in it before was just as distracting and frustrating, but when Charlie and Eggsy got together, there was not a single knight who didn’t breathe a sigh of relief– and think of all the horrible ways it could go wrong. Roxy was protective of Eggsy, she would never deny that, and thinking of everything that happened in training still made her blood boil. Charlie was a prick, and he could hurt Eggsy so bloody easily. 

And then, Agent Kay went ahead and surprised everyone. 

To say that he made a total 180 and became a lovely, open-minded and kind young gentleman would be absolutely preposterous. He was still Charlie– lethal, proud, and equal parts charm and snark. Now, however, she realized three very important things about Charlie Hesketh: 

He was a– surprisingly– deeply loyal friend, seventy five percent of his snark was a carefully orchestrated mask to protect himself, and he was hopelessly, hopelessly in love with Eggsy Unwin. He even said so, all the time. It was sweet– but Eggsy had no clue about what Charlie was saying, because there had never been a time that Charlie was comfortable enough to say those three little words in English.

Standing from her seat, she planted herself directly in Charlie’s way and forced him to stop his ridiculous pacing. Grabbing him by the sides of his face and making his eyes meet hers, she was nearly bowled over by the sheer anguish and fear in the blue gaze. Sympathy tugged at her heart. The more she got to understand her co-worker– and, dare she say it, friend– the more she realized that he was just a frightened, emotionally stunted little boy. It hurt her, but Roxy maintained the fierce look that Charlie associated with her, knowing he wouldn’t appreciate the friendly concern. 

“Charlie– you know he’s okay. His wounds were superficial, it was just a lot of blood, Eggsy’s going to be just fine…” he nodded in her grasp, letting his tiredness show through now that he had stopped his pacing. He sighed and put one of his own big hands on top of hers. He must have been truly overwhelmed for this display of kindness in such a public setting, and Roxy let him close his eyes and breathe for a second. 

“What if we had been five minutes later?” his whisper was hoarse as he cleared his throat, pulling away from her and looking down with his lost blue eyes. Roxy let her hands drop to her sides limply as she figured out what this was all about. 

“Really? With you flying us there? I’m just shocked we didn’t combust at the clip you were going…” she smiled, trying to coax one out of him, only to be met with the imploring gaze of a scared little boy. “Charlie, if I’ve said it once, I’ve said it a hundred times: tell him. In English, when he is awake and within earshot. This is going to keep happening– it’s our job to be in danger. If, one day, we get there five minutes late–” 

Charlie pulled away from her, eyes shutting back down to their usual carefully blank, icy blue. She didn’t mind giving Charlie the verbal smack he needed to do this– her, Merlin and even Harry had heard the murmured confessions of Italian, German, and, most commonly, French, whispered in Eggsy’s ear when the two thought they were alone. Their Galahad would just laugh, rolling his eyes and say something about how Charlie “bloody well knew” that Eggsy had no clue what he was saying. It was sad, how Charlie was so bloody afraid of rejection, of facing his own emotions. Roxy had had more than enough of it. 

“You don’t want to regret it– all this! This pacing, wearing a trench into the Infirmary floor, the nerves– You know he’s fine. But what about next time? There’s no guarantees here, and you need Eggsy to know you love him.”

She could have kept talking– she wanted to. This was all so stupid! Eggsy clearly loved Charlie, Charlie was so completely head over heels for Eggsy he was speaking fucking French. They just needed to get the words out in the open so they could finally stop freaking out whenever one of them left for a mission, or biting their nails while watching each other’s glasses feeds… Well, that would probably never end. 

Just as Charlie turned away from her, wiping a hand down his face and giving a deep exhale, Eggsy came out from down the far corridor. He looked as good as you can look when you had spent 3 full hours alone with your glasses feed broken, locked in a room with a very pissed off scientist who was not too keen on having the secrets of his latest bomb stolen. There was a gash and nasty bruise knicking his jaw, and he held his posture with a touch of stiffness. The long cuts criss-crossing his chest and stomach– hidden under his torn suit shirt– were no doubt twinging with every step he took. Charlie was at his side in a moment, Roxy close behind. Merlin and Harry watched with relief. Their injured agent was, in fact, mostly alright. He’d need a week’s medical leave, but he would be whining about getting back in the game by day three. 

In all honestly, Charlie was the biggest concern here. He’d never had a connection like this to another agent, or anyone else, for that matter. The wave of worry and care and love threatened to overwhelm him at every turn. They had all heard, in fluent French, just how much Charlie had to say to his lover, but was just too scared to whisper in his ear in a language Eggsy could understand. 

It was getting exhausting. 

The three of them stayed behind, all eyes following the two young men who maintained a careful distance from each other, only joined by Charlie’s hand on the small of Eggsy’s back. He handled him like fine china as he asked if he wanted to go home or back to his. The shorter of them only shot him a smirk. 

“What’s the difference?” Not even Charlie’s iron clad mask was able to force down his blush. He smiled back and chuckled. 

“You’re incorrigible.”

“You adore me.” he replied, sleepiness slurring his cheeky tone. Charlie only ushered him towards the tube, looking like he’d swallowed a stone. 

————— 

They returned home in the fog of an autumn London night as Charlie helped Eggsy inside. The shorter of them immediately made his way to the liquor cart in the parlor, and the other paused in the front hall, letting Eggsy go on ahead as he caught his breath. 

He wiped a hand down his face and took off his jacket, hanging it up with little care. Charlie was too tired, too nervous, for any of this. Roxy’s words hung heavily around him like a cloud, and images flashed through his mind: Eggsy, tied to a chair with his shirt peeled away and his chest soaked in blood; Eggsy, coughing and sputtering, flinching away from Charlie when he rushed to his aid; Eggsy, on a stretcher being loaded by Merlin and Roxy onto the jet. Merlin had offered to fly, so Charlie could stay with their injured Galahad. He’d only scoffed harshly, shoving up the steps and stating that he could get them back to HQ in half the time anybody else could. 

He should probably apologize to the Quartermaster sometime. 

Toeing off his shoes, he padded silently across the smooth wood floor of his Kingsman issued home, stopping at the edge of the parlor, feeling a bit breathless all over again– but not with fear. 

Even in his ripped and tattered suit, Eggsy still cut a handsome silhouette against the soft lamplight, still standing at the cart by the far sofa. His dark blond hair caught just a little on the dim yellow glow, giving him a golden edge around his head. Sighing and feeling a heat spread through his veins, Charlie stepped across the space and finally closed the distance between them, pressing a hand to Eggsy’s waist. The other man startled, nearly choking on his sip of scotch, and Charlie felt like a heel. 

“Hey, hey– it’s me, Eggy. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to scare you…” he whispered as soothingly as he could, rubbing his side gently through the bespoke suit. The other agent sighed after a moment, setting down his drink and leaning back into Charlie’s chest. He rocked gently from side to side, resting his chin in the crook of his lover’s neck and shoulder and pressing a feather light kiss to his pulsepoint. Eggsy shivered, bringing a hand up and burying it in Charlie’s thick curls. 

They stayed like that for a long while, and Charlie could feel himself starting to doze off on Eggsy’s shoulder. No matter how comfortable, falling asleep standing would be something that Eggsy would never let him live down, so he forced himself to move. He pulled away just enough to disturb the other man, making him whine a little, and Charlie smiled at the sound, shushing him as he kissed up to the shell of Eggsy’s ear. Simultaneously, he brought up his hands to Eggsy’s jacket and peeled it off him, being incredibly conscious of the cuts under his shirt. 

“ _Laisse-moi m'occuper de toi, s'il te plaît_.” he whispered, knowing Eggsy didn’t know the language, but he still remembered how his lover would melt into calmness whenever Charlie spoke to him in French. He needed Eggsy to be okay right then, and the best way he could think to do that was by creating someplace safe for him with the things he loved. At the sound of the smooth vowels and musical tone of Charlie’s French, Eggsy let out a breathless laugh, turning around to look him in the eyes. 

“French? Really, Charlie?” he teased half heartedly, green eyes looking dark in the dim light. Charlie flashed a smirk, but it faded instantly when he caught sight of the bruise marring Eggsy’s jaw. Fixing on it, he reached out and cupped his hand over that cheek and kissed the other agent’s forehead. They stayed that way for a long moment again, everything seeming to move like molasses in the silence and warmth between the two of them. Eggsy stroked his hand back through Charlie’s hair again and let out a long, slow exhale. 

“Well?” he finally broke the blissful quiet, soft and playful “Why’d you stop?” 

Charlie pulled away, looking Eggsy straight in the eyes and tilting his head up with a guiding hand under his chin. He stroked his thumb across the pink bottom lip, taking a moment to just look, and soak in all that was his lover. His Eggy. Wasting no more time, he closed the distance between them and pressed his lips to Eggsy’s. The shorter man melted into the kiss, letting Charlie hold his face and run his tongue across the bottom lip, opening up willingly to the slow, measured gentleness of his lover’s mouth on his.   
When they pulled back for air, resting their foreheads together and gasping for breath, Charlie wrapped his arm around Eggsy’s narrow waist, guiding him to the stairs with a murmur of “ _Allons au lit, mon cœur._ ” 

Charlie’s bedroom– which had really become their’s–  was dark and quiet, and he flicked on the small bedside lamp just enough for them to see their way to the bed. Guiding Eggsy along by their intertwined fingers, Charlie paused at the foot of the mattress, only for the other man to throw his arms around his neck and plant their mouths back together like magnets. Charlie responded immediately, pulling Eggsy flush against him with arms around his waist, until he felt his lover wince against him. 

He had never let go of anyone or anything so fast in his life, his chest clenching at the idea of hurting Eggsy. He looked back at Charlie with a soft smile, though, rolling his eyes even as he flinched against the unseen injuries on his torso. 

“C'mere, Charlie… I’m fine.” he reached out for Charlie’s hand, and he let himself be led until they were close but not touching. He didn’t quite believe the other man, looking him up and down with worried eyes. Eggsy put a warm hand on his lover’s cheek and locked the blue eyes onto his green. “I’m okay. Jus’… keep talkin’ to me?” he requested shyly– shyly as Eggsy was capable of– and pressed his lips coyly to the corner of Charlie’s mouth. 

“ _Bien sûr, mon amour._ ” he took a deep breath, reaching out gingerly to touch Eggsy again, but he paused, pulling back and ducking his head to give Eggsy a lingering kiss. His lover chased his mouth as he came away from the too-short contact. Charlie just smiled at him, though “ _Laisse-moi m'occuper de toi_?” he asked, fiddling with the buttons at his Galahad’s collar. 

“I don’ know what tha’ means, but sure.” he replied with a breathy chuckle, and Charlie just loved him so much. 

He didn’t take the teasing bait Eggsy was giving him, instead choosing to wrap a hand around the nape of the shorter man’s neck and fiddle with the soft blond hair. “Would you let me take care of you tonight, _Mon amour_?” He slid off Eggsy’s tie with a practiced, free hand, not taking his eyes off the other agent’s. 

He didn’t blink, just stared back at Charlie and swallowed hard, making his Adam’s Apple bob in his throat. That brought the taller man to stoop down and plant wet kisses down the column of Eggsy’s neck, making him whimper and arch his head back into Charlie’s hand. 

He licked a stripe back up to Eggsy’s ear, making him shiver and go lax against him. Cradling him to his chest, Charlie laid his lover down on the bed and started popping buttons down his shirt, laving his tongue over the familiar expanses of collar bones begging to be bitten and sucked. Eggsy whimpered and writhed as Charlie worked red and purple marks down his neck and scraped his teeth gently over the thin skin on his delicate bones. Charlie just hummed along the porcelain skin he had marred, smelling the traces of his cheap, drugstore deodorant, the tang of sweat mingling with gunpowder and antiseptic. His eyes fluttered shut and he lost himself in the intoxicating scent of Eggsy, unable to push the thought out of his mind that he could lose him at any time, on any mission. The clench in his chest was overwhelming and painful, making him feel too empty and too full, balling his hands into fists in the blood-tinged fabric of Eggsy’s shirt and rested his forehead on the other man’s heartbeat. 

“ _Ne me quitte pas, s'il te plaît. Tu es si beau, mon cœur, je t'aime tellement…_ ” he murmured like a mantra, trying to inscribe the words into the fabric of the other man’s skin with just his voice. He continued to open the shirt after a moment, his heart faltering at the sight of the stark white bandages that Eggsy was already starting to  bleed through. Charlie drifted a hand over the gauze like the man underneath them was made of glass, letting out a shuddering breath as he ghosted faint kisses over every spot where the blood had shown through, kneeling between Eggsy’s spread legs and hunched over his chest, framing his rib-cage with his hands. Fingers twined into his hair, and Charlie moaned into the touch as Eggsy tugged him up to kiss him, pouring every ounce of tenderness he could muster into the single point of contact. The man beneath him cupped a hand on Charlie’s still clothed hip, and bit lightly on his bottom lip. 

“Come on, Kay– I ain’t goin’ to break.” he was smirking, but it softened into something more sad when he looked at Charlie’s baffling expression. He looked into the wide blue gaze that looked almost tearful in the dim light, and he stroked his curls out of his face. Charlie leaned into the comforting touch, unable to speak.

He wasn’t used to this crushing amount of emotion, the way it bit into every inch of his being and crept through his every thought. Eggsy was always on his mind. He was the first thing he saw in the morning, and the last thing he saw at night. Every moment they spent together had meaning and feeling. Being with Eggsy had never been like being with any of the nameless boys he’d gone through at Eton– all of them were just a way to blow off steam, numb his brain and focus on the push and pull and pleasure, but Eggsy. From the first kiss, something was different. In bed with the other agent was like an electric current, a warm buzz under his skin that threatened the borders of pain, it was so overwhelming. He was accustomed to feeling in the regard that his parents felt things, and the rest of the aristocracy felt things– with a gentile reserve, suppressing the most severe of emotions for the sake of presenting a superior facade. To be stripped down so far, to the point of feeling nothing and absolutely everything– like he was with Eggsy– was terrifying. Especially right then, finally facing the facts that they might not have each other forever.     
Eggsy leaned up a fraction of an inch and brushed his lips across his lover’s like he was the most fragile thing in the world. “Charlie?”

He just buried his face against Eggsy’s neck, feeling the light scratch of his nails against the back of his head. A– frankly, pitiful– whimper escaped his lips, and Eggsy wrapped his arms around his back, pulling them flush in a way that probably stung his injuries, but Charlie knew Eggsy wouldn’t care. 

“Charlie, are you alrigh’? Talk t’ me…” he tried to bring him out of hiding against his skin, but Charlie wouldn’t budge, rambling out French with a desperate tinge in his voice as he thought about how Eggsy had looked, bloody and unconscious on a concrete floor barely 6 hours ago. 

“ _Désolé, mon amour, je suis tellement désolé.. je ne peux pas te perdre, je ne peux pas– tu es tout pour moi, Eggsy, j'ai besoin de toi_.” he wasn’t quite crying, but the gasped out breathing and slight tremble in his hands must have brought Eggsy to that conclusion, because he pulled Charlie up and looked into his eyes, shushing him and stroking his face. “ _Je t'aime comme je n'ai jamais aimé quelqu'un de toute ma vie, mon cœur, je n'ai jamais rien ressenti de tel–”_

“English, Charlie!” 

“I could have been five minutes late!” It burst out of him and he was powerless to stop it, pushing himself up to sit, away from Eggsy’s gentle hands and endless green eyes, feeling like everything was overflowing inside him. The silence reigned, only measured by the clock’s ticking on the bedside table. Charlie looked down at his hands in his lap, suddenly hit with a wave of shame at his outburst. It was getting late, Eggsy was injured and he wanted to take care of him, but Charlie was feeling everything too deeply to focus. 

He felt the shift of the bed as Eggsy moved, but Charlie didn’t look up for a second, afraid to see what the other agent thought of him. 

Two hands came into his line of sight then, and Eggsy held Charlie’s bigger hands in his, giving a squeeze and resting his forehead against his. He wanted to look up, Charlie felt like he was drifting away, he needed the anchor of his lover, but he didn’t budge. 

Eggsy ducked and pressed a kiss to his temple with warm, dry lips before moving down his cheek, forcing Charlie’s face to look up again. Then there was the firm, slightly rough kiss planted on his lips, and Charlie sighed into it, chasing it when Eggsy pulled away, cupping his jaw with a hand and looking into his eyes for a long second. 

“I-I can’t lose you…” Charlie stuttered into the hush of the clock and Eggsy’s breathing. “And then, y-your video feed cut out, and I thought you… I thought you were gone.” his voice was hoarse and dark, but he had to say it– out loud, in English, with Eggsy awake and within earshot. His heart seized up in his chest when his lover smiled at him so sweetly. “I can’t live without you, I’ve never loved anyone like I love you.” 

The shorter agent’s expression was hard to gauge for a moment, and Charlie felt like he might throw up from his nervousness, staring into those eyes, their noses almost brushing and breath mingling. And then Eggsy beamed. He smiled so beautifully, and Charlie’s heart was beating out of his chest when his Galahad cupped his face and chuckled softly, pressing tiny, wispy kisses to his lips over and over. 

“I know that, Charlie…” he muttered between the steadily firmer touches of lips before pulling away to look at him again. 

“You know?” he could not fathom it. Eggsy had known the whole time, and Charlie had spent weeks confused, in his own emotional Hell thinking of a way to tell him? The war of disappointment and relief and the impossibly comforting feel of Eggsy’s gun-callused hands on his cheeks sent the other man positively reeling, holding onto his lover’s wrists to ground himself. Eggsy laughed again. 

“O’ course I know, ’M not thick…” he moved his hands away and buried them back in Charlie’s hair, looking at him with a mix of pure delight and disbelief 

“Charlie– people don’t touch each other like you touch me without bein’ in love. People don’ look at each other like you look at me without bein’ in love. I jus’ didn’t think you’d ever say it out loud.” he was matter-o-fact about it, but kept his voice gentle for Charlie’s sake, resting their foreheads together for a long moment as he smoothed his hands across the agent’s chest, popping his Kay’s shirt buttons and sliding the fabric from his shoulders before removing his own shirt as well. He winced at the pull, however, and Charlie was immediately at his aide. 

“Hey– I said I would take care of you–” he said, torn out of his own thoughts and brought back into the moment. He finished tossing aside the garment and wrapped his arms around Eggsy, pushing him to lay down again, only to have him roll his eyes and tug Charlie down beside him. 

“An’ I say that we’re goin’ to take care of each other.” He turned on his side, facing Charlie, and they lay there, shirtless and suddenly a bit breathless, gazing at each other. “What d'you need, Charlie?” Eggsy whispered after a long moment. Charlie wracked his brain, suddenly unable to think of a single thing that didn’t pertain to the fact that Eggsy was here. He was right in front of Charlie, and they were both alive and safe and holding each other. 

“You.” he answered on auto-pilot, instinct driving him to state the only thing he felt he couldn’t live without. He was drifting, floating away without the other agent, his Galahad, to hold onto, and he didn’t even have the presence of mind to feel weak about it. “I need to be with you.” The truth in the words made his voice feel raw, and his every nerve ending called out for the other’s touch. He wanted to hold him as close as he could get, and breathe him in. He could never remember a single time that he had felt so hopelessly lost and simultaneously anchored, actually surrendering to his emotions.  

Eggsy kissed him first, nothing but plush lips and velvety brushes of his tongue as he stroked his hands across his chest, like reading braille, and slipped his hands down to the zip of his trousers and his half hard cock. Charlie gasped at the contact– he’d actually not even noticed his own arousal– and Eggsy took advantage, plundering his mouth with teeth and tongue, unzipping him with a skilled hand and palming him through his briefs.

“I love you.” he panted out, his blood pounding through his veins, and his lover smiling against his mouth. “I-I love you, I love you, I love you–” 

“I gotta say, that sounds pretty good, Kay.” he murmured back to him as Charlie pulled him close and slotted their bodies together, pressing a knee between the shorter agent’s legs and held him firmly, chest to chest, lips to lips, hips to hips. The gentle rock of their bodies started slowly and carefully, building a rhythm with Charlie staying mindful of his lover’s injuries, gauging his every move and sound for a trace of pain, or desire to stop. Eggsy very nearly purred at the feel of it, and they kissed languidly, their soft breaths and Charlie’s mantra of “I love you” drowning out the tick of the clock. It was late, and their tiredness was forgotten somewhere between the warmth of their touches and the grind of their bodies as clothes were shed. 

By the time they were naked, wrapped flush against each other and breathing in each other’s hot pants of air, they couldn’t be bothered by a single shred of the outside world– nothing existed except where they lay in each other’s arms. Charlie twisted himself away, fumbling for the small tube of lube on the bedside table. Eggsy whined at the loss of his lover’s mouth, latching on to suck his way down his neck, instead. Charlie groaned, snatching the bottle and popping up the cap, turning back to Eggsy. The other man’s lips traced the line of his jaw, and he shuddered, going lax against Eggsy’s mouth and tongue before kissing him again, reveling in the slick heat of their lips before pulling away to whisper in his lover’s ear.

“ _Je peux, mon coeur_?” he waved the bottle a little, showing it to Eggsy so he would understand the French. The other man smiled and nodded before smirking, teasing him with light fingertips on the underside of his cock for a too-brief second where Charlie’s breath caught in his throat. 

“Am I goin’ to have t’ learn French ‘n this relationshi–  _ah_ ” he cut off Eggsy’s teasing with a fingertip of his own, slick and probing around the edges of his hole before sinking in. Eggsy gasped, bucking his hips against the intrusion. Charlie shushed him, kissing the corner of his parted lips. 

“Is this okay?” he whispered into the soft pink skin there, feeling his lover rock against his finger and he didn’t even try to keep his voice normal, letting it slip into a warm, low, husky sound that made the other man shiver and nod, scrambling to bring Charlie in for another kiss. 

Eggsy was pleading for it against Charlie’s neck as he worked him open, but the taller man just chuckled, pulled Eggsy closer to him, insisting on getting three fingers into him before anything else. He whispered sweet nothings in French, crooning into the porcelain skin beside him as he stretched out the slick opening, his lover writhing and whimpering on his fingers. 

They took their time. They kissed, and sucked marks onto each other’s skin, and ran gentle hands over each other. Charlie would periodically place his free hand on Eggsy’s bandages and ask if he was comfortable. By the time Eggsy was draping a leg over Charlie’s hips, and Charlie lined himself up, they were slicked with sweat, covered in deep purple hickeys, and smiling into each other’s mouths. Their foreheads rested together, panting and gasping, Eggsy’s hands buried back into his lover’s thick curls, with Charlie’s tracing the length of his thigh where it rested across him, and he pushed slowly forward into the impossibly tight heat. He stayed there, snug against his lover, and they gripped onto each other, doing anything to be closer to one another. 

Charlie thought about nothing and everything, holding Eggsy tightly and stroking his hand up and down his spine while he reveled in the feel of the other man’s panting breaths against his neck. Eggsy whimpered after a moment, pressing his hips down into Charlie’s and starting them rocking into the heat of their bodies. It wasn’t choreographed, it wasn’t nearly as flexible or strenuous as some of their usual sexual escapades– but, it wasn’t meant to be. Charlie felt complete. It was as if every moment of his life, from his lonely, empty childhood, through every good and bad time he had been through, he had been living underwater, hearing and seeing and living through an aristocratic buffer zone. It had taken the all too real reality of Eggsy to pull him into the sunlight, and he could breathe. 

He relished every second of the push and pull between the two of them, simply basking in the love they were able to share when they could just as likely die the next time they went to work. He felt Eggsy breathe sharply, clenching around him as he started hitting that sweet spot, and he picked up the pace, snapping his hips sharply, as deep as they could go until he was whining and groaning along with his lover, muttering French and English and maybe something that was not even a human language into Eggsy’s lips as he squeezed his eyes shut and lent into the waves of pleasure. They poured everything they had into the delicious, every-growing build up to their climax. 

Eggsy was digging his nails into Charlie’s shoulder blades, chanting his name along with a muttered stream of profanities and gibberish. The heat pooled in the base of his spine, and his Galahad was clenched down on him like a vice, his hips growing erratic and clumsy in the tell-tale signs of him getting close as well. Charlie steadied him with a hand on his sweat slicked hipbone and pressed into him just three more times before the two of them fell over the edge in tandem, Eggsy gasping into his collarbone while Charlie let out a breathless cry, stilling inside the other man as his vision whited out. 

He hadn’t realized that his eyes were closed until he felt tiny kisses pressed to his eyelids, his nose, and then softly onto his slack, swollen lips. He responded feebly, blinking his eyes open and looking up into Eggsy’s fond green gaze. 

“ 'Ello.” he rasped, his voice a musical little whisper in that lowbrow, London accent that Charlie used to say he hated. Charlie grinned, eyes at half mast, leaning into Eggsy’s hand on his cheek and stroking into his hair. 

“I love you.” 

Eggsy chuckled and rolled his eyes, flopping onto his back while still looking over at the other man smiling dopily at him “Does that feel good? T’ finally say it, I mean?” Charlie forced himself to action, propping himself up by his elbows just above Eggsy’s face. 

“ _Oui_. It really does…” he lent down and brushed his lips over his lover’s before leaning back to the side. 

A few long moments passed with nothing but the ever-present tick of the clock, Eggsy staring up at the ceiling, Charlie looking over at Eggsy. 

“ ’M not goin’ to disappear if you look away, Kay.” Eggsy spoke up, lacking his usual teasing air, despite the nickname. He looked over at him, and gently picked up Charlie’s closest wrist and pressed it over his chest, so he could feel the heartbeat underneath the bandage. 

Usually, it would just be a quiet comfort to Charlie– a reminder. He would usually just give Eggsy a kiss and pull him over to lay with him and go to sleep. Right then, however, so simultaneously overwhelmed and blissed out– maybe not quite thinking straight– Eggsy’s heartbeat under his hand was the most stunningly beautiful and relieving thing on the planet, and he curled his longer frame around Eggsy’s body, holding him and pressing his ear over the comforting thumping sound. The other man just carded his fingers through his hair and sighed. 

“I love you, too, you know.” It was a sentence barely more than a breath, and Charlie felt warmth spread through him like the sun was in his veins. He shifted his head for a moment, pressing a chaste little kiss over Eggsy’s heart before settling back, holding him closer. 

The clock ticked. Eggsy’s heart beat was strong under Charlie’s ear. His breathing was relaxed and sleepy. And then he felt the man below him laugh. 

“What’s so funny?”

“It’s… Well, it’s jus’ that, if we were even half this nice t’ each other in the shop, I think Merlin’s 'ead might spin clean off…” he continued to chuckle, and Charlie was tired enough to admit that he laughed a little, too, before rolling his eyes and letting out a faux long suffering sigh.   
  
“Shut up and go to sleep, Unwin.”

And they did. Wrapped around each other with the assurance that they would both be there when they woke up. 


End file.
